Tuesday, September 27, 2016

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY

For my birthday or Christmas a while back, I don't remember which, Julia gave me this little notebook. On the cover it says - 

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY
A journal to reassure myself when I'm overwhelmed by the creeping sense of impending disaster and the all-encompassing fears both specified and vague that colonize my mind, body, and soul, all of which, from the completely far-fetched to the sometimes probable, do me no good to contemplate and in fact make me miserable, and even though optimism may be unself-aware and ill-placed, I know I'll be happier as a blind fool than as a clairvoyant apocalyptic.


It's a really tremendous run-on sentence that perfectly describes my mental processes 90% of the time that I'm in school. Each double-page spread has a quote on a bright background on the left, and room to write "what I'm hanging hope on today:" on the right.


On the first page, right next to Lawrence Welk's quote, "There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them," I decided to take the opportunity and start a list of good memories. And it has proven remarkably helpful in making me smile when I read through them again. It is a wonderful work in progress.





Good Things

  • when we went to the Natural's game for Julia's birthday and started a tradition
  • going kayaking for the first time with Mem and Aunt Cindy 
  • going kayaking the second time 
  • Tennessee
  • when we went to Ft Smith to get school supplies, and again to get a computer
  • when we went to Petco before we got Misha because we were so excited to get a dog we couldn't wait to get him a collar
  • when TA wanted to go shopping to get Misha a Christmas present
  • watching Star Wars after studying all day
  • the first football game as Wolverines
  • going to Ft Smith with Julia and Momma and Daddy and Clair
  • when Bro Adam came to see me in Fayetteville and we ate fish and talked
  • that time I was sick and TA came over anyway and stayed all day and played games with Caleb and Clair
  • taking candy canes to the nursing home and chocolate to the hospital at Christmas
  • chaperoning the homecoming dance
  • eating BBQ after taking Kenneth's sister's prom pictures
  • going to see Zootopia for my 21st birthday and then eating at Red Lobster at 9:00 at night
  • riding in the very back of the car with Clair because the dogs took our seats
  • surprising Julia at the baseball game
  • binge-watching every episode of Stranger Things because we were out of school
  • eating at that 5-star hole-in-the-wall after going kayaking
  • when we went ring shopping and the sales guy had him open the ring box to let me see what it would be like
  • when Momma and Clair and I went dress shopping and Clair found the one
  • going to AtoZ with Momma and Clair and just wandering around before we met Caleb and Daddy at Cracker Barrel
  • setting up at the farmer's market
  • watching the Jungle Book with Kenneth and Bro Fred and then eating Red Lobster super late again after
  • going shopping and to see the BFG with Julia and Andrew
  • this picture of Christmas '15 (including whatever Momma's eating, Ta's floating elbow, sloth pillow, Impractical Jokers on TV, reappeared Ta, and Caleb in half a Deadpool costume)


  

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